Love, is love.

Hello there!

I was spending my time re-watching Glee ((yes I know I've watched it a million times)) and I came across the classic episode from season 6: The Wedding. For those who aren't great fans of Glee, it's the big wedding between long-time lesbian couple, Brittany and Santana. Of course, we also get to witness the spontaneous wedding between Kurt and Blaine, our all time favourite gay couple.

The episode talked a lot about love, about loss, and more importantly, the importance of timing in love. Being a supporter of LGBT relationships, I seldom find myself getting defensive when people are against such concepts. I believe that love is love, and we shouldn't prioritise nor discriminate any forms of it. Is that not so? You may beg to differ, but my opinion stands.

Today, I want to talk about a few things I took away, most significantly, from the episode. Glee taught me a lot about life, achieving dreams, and acceptance. But this episode, it taught me a little something about love. Or maybe, reminded.

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#01: We don't only find true love once

A common stereotype is that we can only find one true love, the logic behind being only meant for one other person in this world. It commonly claims that there is only 1 person who is truly perfect for us. I don't deny the possibility of that, but how often do we get to find someone who is a 100% match for us? If we find someone who is a 99% match, is that not true love?

True love isn't always finding that 100%, but finding someone whom you truly want to be with, and find yourself to love that person day after day without fail. We don't stop loving them, whether they are gone or they stayed. But we don't just get to meet 1 true love, sometimes we have the privilege of meeting more than one.

Why do I say so?

Burt (Kurt's father) lost his wife to cancer when Kurt was young, having brought up his child alone. Somewhere in his 40s, he met Finn's mother, Carole. Having lost her husband when Finn was young as well, she and Burt found each other. In the episode, Burt quotes this:

"Twice in my life, I have been lucky enough to meet the love of my life. And both of those times, I have married that love."

True love is not always finding 1 person who's 100%, but finding someone who's probably a 90% but choosing to overlook that 10% because the love is so real and so genuine. So here's against all the people who insist that they have lost their one true love and will never be able to find another. Yes, it may not work for everyone to find more than one true love in their life; but don't give up on that possibility because of a common stereotype written by a bunch of kids on Tumblr. Don't shut the door on finding a second true love, because that possibility only becomes impossible when you choose to walk away from it.

If we find hard enough, and maybe somewhere in our lives... where we have lost our true love, we'll find a new love sprouting. Maybe, another true love as well.

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#02: Marriage isn't as easy as we think it is

Many a times, in our teenage years, we think that our love is so genuine and real and self-sacrificing that we tend to forget a strong love that stood through the test of time... Our parents' love. Having been influenced by television drama plots, we think that our parents won't understand our love because they wouldn't have sacrificed as much as we did for ours.

Marriage, is two people coming together, and telling one another that they want to be together for the rest of their lives. That, despite all the obstacles ahead, they want to be with each other for the next years until the end. That, at the end of the day, they want to hold each other on their deathbed.

Yes, marriages sometimes don't work out. Sometimes, it ends. But marriage isn't as easy as we see it. Love is love, but marriage is love that vows to stay through tough and easy times alike. We fall in love, a lot for some of us, but how many can we truly say that we want to go through marriage with? How often can we look at a person's flaws and say that we want to live with that flaw for the rest of our lives? That's what marriage is.

Marriage, is living with the flaws and the strengths. It's going home to each other's face everyday, going to bed together every night. It's waking up to their morning breath, and telling yourself that you chose this over any crazy, flirty, young, wild, carefree life you could possibly have. Why? Because burning toasts with them is so much more worth your while than partying all night.

Why do I say so?

During the officiating, Burt (the officiating person) quoted this:

"Love and marriage is when two people say to one another, I love you because I love you, and I know this is going to be one heck of a ride, but I don't wanna do it, unless I can do it with you."

Marriage is going to be one heck of a ride, as with love. Except, marriage is one heck of a long ride, for the rest of your lives (if possible). But despite knowing it's going to be tough for the rest of your lives together, and that being single could possibly make your lives easier, you want to do it because you can do it together. Love is difficult, but marriage is that difficult love that lasts for a lifetime. Yet you don't want to do it, unless you can do it with each other.

That shows the strength of the love, originally, for two people to decide that they want to do this with one another. That, there is only one person (at that point in time) that you want to do this with.

Marriage is difficult, and complicated sometimes. But marriage is also simple. It is love that lasts for a lifetime. It is love, that decides to stay together despite it all.

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#03: Love is spontaneous, and sometimes untimely

You know how we always dream of meeting our true love in the most perfect scenario possible, often affected heavily by the latest Nicholas Sparks book we read? Sometimes, love isn't this way.

Love isn't always meeting the boy in the park when he accidentally knocks you over while skateboarding. Love isn't meeting him in the bookstore where you both happened to pick up the same book at the same time. Love, also isn't meeting on the Eiffel tower and sharing a kiss at the top of it.

Sometimes, love is seeing that cute boy walk through the door and having music play in your head. Love is stealing glances, love is finding love in the least expected places and time. We can't plan the time we will meet our true love, it happens. We can't decide when or where we would meet him/her, it happens. Sometimes, we won't be ready for it. This is what leads to heart breaks and tears. Sometimes, we have to take a leap of faith and be spontaneous about this love.

And maybe, just maybe, that love will bring us so much more than we expected.

Why do I say so?

During the wedding, Kurt and Blaine spontaneously decided to get married. Was it planned at all? Not really, at least not on their part. But they did anyway, and they were ready long before they knew they were. They did not plan the wedding, perfect tuxedos or carefully selected flowers... They simply had the perfect partners. 

Yet, it was one of the most beautiful wedding that made them happier so much earlier. They could have gotten married years later, like Kurt wanted to. They could have rebuilt their relationship slowly, and endure their love through the test of time again. However, they chose to get married there and then. Because Carole quoted:

"We haven't wasted one day since we met... ...you're going to make mistakes, and that's ok. I have made so many... ...but you just have to take every second of everyday, and squeeze it as tight as you can. Just wring every last bit out of it."

We never know when the end is, but yet Blaine and Kurt realised that to wring every bit of their everyday, they wanted to be with each other there and then. That, despite being completely unprepared and taken by surprise, they wanted to make this possible mistake with each other. They wanted to take every next second of everyday since they were pronounced husband and husband, to love each other. As husbands, joint in marriage.

And that's love. Yes, we can always plan our wedding and our house. However, how can you plan meeting the man/woman of your life? How can you predict the time and place you'll find him/her. How do you know when is the right time to get married? Is it when you're financially stable, when your parents keep pushing you, when you apply for HDB together, or is it simply when you know in your heart that you can't spend a minute more without being married to each other?

Is love planned? Is love when you got together on the most romantic date possible, when he kneels down and buys you flowers to ask you to be his girlfriend? Or is love when you share a kiss after a quarrel and he just ask you to be with him because he can't stand the thought of losing you after a fight? Is love considering the relationship and picking a perfect date to say yes, or is love saying yes after you run in the rain because he makes you so genuinely happy that you can't imagine life without holding his hands?

Love is spontaneous, and love is wringing every bit of everyday for each other. It's jumping into a completely not logical decision because you don't have to think when you're with the person. It's saying yes/I do because you don't want otherwise. It's getting married at 20, or falling in love at 14, because at that point, you didn't care how ready you were... You loved that person with all of your heart and as did that person.

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#04: Love is seeing the best in a person

This is a common understanding, and I'm just reiterating this point because that episode showed me so much of it.

Why do I say so?

Brittany has always felt stupid in the first few seasons, having had a GPA of 0.00. People often called her stupid, an insult she took to heart. Santana, her best friend, always saw the best in her. Santana always thought that Brittany was a genius, and never once called Brittany stupid despite hanging out with her everyday.

In the episode where they got married, during her vows, Brittany quoted:

"The world seemed so scary and confusing. It was just too fast. It made me feel dumb, just because my brain worked differently."

Santana never once made Brittany feel afraid and confused or that Brittany was too slow. She never once made Brittany feel dumb, despite the world claiming so. And Santana always saw the best in her, as did Brittany with Santana. Santana always saw the genius in Brittany, and that was such a strong sign of their love. That when the entire world, saw Brittany as a stupid person, Santana never did.

During Kurt's vows, he quoted:

"You don't ask me to come out of the shadows. You help me move away anything that's blocking the sun."

While Kurt always hid in the shadows, and never dared to show his ambitions, inner desires and his amazing talent... Blaine saw it all. Blaine saw the brave and strong man that Kurt was, and never once tried to tell Kurt to become someone that the society would accept. Instead, Blaine pushed away the dark things that was towering over Kurt, and let Kurt shine the way he should.

He gave Kurt the courage to be himself, however different he may be from the stereotype. Blaine brought the darkness away, without once trying to get Kurt out of his comfortable space. He never tried to make Kurt uncomfortable and make Kurt adapt, he simply tried to make the best out of the space because he knew that Kurt was amazing the way he already was.

If Blaine never saw the best in Kurt, he wouldn't have been able to do what he did.

Love, is acceptance. It's seeing the best in someone even when the world doesn't. It is the world telling you that "this person is horrible" and deciding otherwise. There is no logic, it is a gut feeling you simply can't get rid of. It's wearing these crazy shades that block out the world's stereotypical thoughts about that person, and seeing him/her for who you believe he/she is.

Yes, you may say it's stupid to think this way. That sometimes, outsiders see things clearer. But you can't deny that love makes people see the best in a person, however horrible the person may be. That despite knowing they are horrible people who are indecent and nasty... they may have a kind heart towards their family. Love is that, and so much more.

Love is seeing through the flaws, and pulling out the strength. Love is watching this person stand at this point, and moving the spotlight to shine on them. It is telling him/her to stand there, because you're coming to get him/her.

Being with someone is denying the "truth" that they are horrible lovers just because they are horrible people. Being with someone is telling yourself that "I don't care what the world thinks, I just want to be with you because you make me happy". It is simpler than what others see/think. It is telling yourself that you couldn't care less about what others say about your lover, because all you can see is the beautiful smile he/she has when he/she is with you... and realising that you are smiling unknowingly while thinking about it, because just the thought of him/her makes you so happy.

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That episode taught me so much more, but yet it taught me these important things about love. You may not agree with what I said, but I believe that a part of it still resonates with whoever is reading this. Love is love, and love is so much bigger and simpler than we think it is.

For those who do not believe in LGBT relationships for religious reasons... Here's a quote that Burt said during the show that I believe in so much.

"...and under a God, for sure if he believes in love, then he fully endorses the loving marriages of these two wonderful couples."

Amen to that.

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My love is your love (Glee). While they sang this song as a team-building song during season 3, I felt like it was a romantic song anyhow. Because true love is having nothing able to tear you apart. Either ways, I hate to hear a song post-Finn.