Hello there!

2016 has been such a whirlwind of a year - and I haven't had time to properly sit down to write, or even think for that matter. What with work, graduation, and university, this has had to be the most adaptable year of my life thus far. But I'm glad I got through it, and I thank God for giving me this little me-time today to really sit down and just reflect. Thank the heavens for writing too.

//

2016 has been a year of loss: for me, and perhaps for the world too. Even from the beginning, we lost amazing people whom I've grown up watching. Amazing actors like Alan Rickman and legendary singers like Prince left us this year - much to our dismay. For me, I've lost a lot of friends.

Maybe it's time to properly address this, but I've truly understood the fragility of friendship with the loss of my previous romantic relationship. While the past 2(?) years was filled with the love of my ex-boyfriend and all our loving friends, ending that chapter took a toll on all the friendship that came with it too. But who could I blame? Friendship is indeed fleeting.

But perhaps it was me - for 2016 was a year that I learned how it's important to have qualitative friendship over quantitative friendship. I've voluntarily shut out many people in my life, simply because I decided the friendship was not worth my effort. Sorry for those I've shut out, but I genuinely think that we've had a good run at our friendship - it was just a good friendship that didn't last very long. And growing apart is ok, and we should all be ok with that.

All in all, I'm thankful for the loss I've made. Because that gave me so much more space in my heart to welcome the new people in my life - the people I've felt so attached to over the past few months in my university life. Joanna doesn't have a heart big enough for everyone, so thank God for helping me make the decisions to shut away chapters of my life, to open up new ones.

//

2016 has been a year of adapting - this is what I kept saying for the past few weeks. While I learned to move on from a very long relationship, I also learned to love someone else properly. Apart from that, I learned to treasure friendship and people more. Making new friends in university has truly taken a toll on me, where I was cautious about making toxic friends and differentiating the ones I really would die for, and the ones I wouldn't gave a hoodwink about if they disappeared one day.

Harsh, but accurate.

I've made many friends over the past few months in Hall, but some quite more precious than others. Meeting friends who share the same life goals and passion as me has truly made me realise how friendship works better when you burn with the same flame. Thank you God, for bringing me all these amazing people in my life - from the dancers to blue blood to Nat. All these people, despite me being unsure as to how long our friendship would last, has shown me how amazing friendship is if we just take a back-step and let nature run its course.

I know that many people in my life right now will probably be shut out again eventually, but I'm going to leave that worry for 2017 Joanna, because to be quite honest, 2016 Joanna has had enough of that.

//

2016 has been a year of growing up, and learning. I've learned to be more ok with people not appreciating the things I do or the choices I made, and I've learned to love myself more. Honestly, I've always struggled with insecurities where I feel like the whole world is plotting against me - always talking behind my back the moment I leave the scene. But on a less narcissistic note, nobody is going to even think about me when I leave. HAHAHAHAHA.

But 2016 has shown me that it's ok for people to be talking about you or being against you. All that matters is that I'm making these choices for myself, and myself only. I need to put myself as my number one, because I don't think anybody else is going to do that if I don't do it myself first.

If anything, I hope to really focus on me in 2017 and not anybody else. I want to make sure I'm ready as a person to take on the world, as I move step by step toward my future. If I want to dream big, I got to be big enough as a person to handle that - and right now I'm a tad bit small (not literally though). I just hope to really become a better person for myself in 2017, and be kinder to me too.

I want to be more ok with making choices for myself, for loving me for who I am, and for not changing at the slightest comment of another. I want to tell myself that people are not worth it, and I'm worth more than I think I do.

Honestly, I believe that it's very important to feel that way. Only when we feel like we're worth it, will others start treating us like we're worth it too.

//

I don't want to keep rattling on, because I know how draggy these posts can get.

2016 has been a tough year, but one that passed by a little too fast for my liking. I thought I'd accomplish much more than I did, but I've also accomplished many I didn't expect to accomplish. Well, you win some you lose some. But all in all, 2016 has done me well.

God has closed certain windows, but opened great doors for me. He has brought me into a new chapter of my life, and given me opportunities to grow as a person. He has placed people in my life that would really help me love myself, and more importantly, he stood by my side in the toughest days of the year. I thank God for being around in 2016, and I hope that he will continue to guide me through 2017.

I want to dream bigger in 2017, and work towards that. But before all else, here's to ending 2016 on a peaceful and beautiful note. Amen.

//

To a better 2017, here's to us.