Hellooooo I'm back ^^ Actually I'm blogging today 'cause I felt like talking about some stuffs but have nobody to talk to ): #sadlifeofjoanna

Technically I'm supposed to be studying but then .. It's only week2 into the reopen of school and things are going slowly for FMS now so I get to relax first ! ♥ No sense stressing myself out now since I'm going to be really really stressed for the ending part of the semester right? :D

Ok .. Today Nat said that I'm turning Ahlian ):

Which is something real sensitive to me, and very unpleasant. I don't blame her 'cause I love Nat for giving me all her honest opinions ♥ I think she's the only one with enough courage to tell me the truth, regardless of whatever (: But well, that's what 8 years of friendship do to you !! ^^ Nat, if you're reading this, here's to another 70+ years of honest friendship !!!!!!!

But well, I don't really like the word "Ahlian". It's not like I stereotype them or anything, but I generally don't appreciate being branded this way. I think most Nanhua-rians would understand that I'm someone who doesn't like to be deemed like so .. ): For most of my teenage years, I disliked the use of vulgarities, or slang. I didn't like typing with short-forms, or the lack of proper language. I put the apostrophe where it should be, and the appropriate grammar !! ♥

Yep, that's my style of typing + speaking ^^

But I suppose life changes people, and now I'm no longer like this. The amount of vulgarities I scold in a day now is probably how much I'd scold in 2 weeks in the past. And I have so much slang in my conversations !! .__________. I use "siah" on a minutely-basis (yes it's really that much) and wtf on an hourly-basis. Honestly .. I don't really like that. I don't enjoy speaking this way but it comfortable sometimes, ♥ But I'll still try to reduce on this negative language usage ~

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Another thing, is probably the main motivation for this post. I miss someone ♥ Nope, not that person that I have a crush on and tweets about 24/7. Also not the best friend I talk about but never ever meets. It's also none of my batch dancers, or DI dancers, or Laoshi or anything !! Although I do miss them a bit ! ♥♥ But it's none of these people in particular (:

It's someone special. A friend who means a lot. This person helped me overcome the toughest times I've faced in my teenage years, and he walked through most of it with me :D He gave me the courage to walk on when I felt like giving up, and proved to me that our friendship was beyond genuine, ♥ I have to say that I'm probably still alive due to his determination !! *inserts strength emoji*

 I can bravely admit that I've faced horrible teenage problems in my 4 years. And there were days I felt like giving up, thinking that maybe if I just cut a little deeper in that wound ~ I wondered if an overdose on Panadol would appear normal, or if I could just slowly let that illness get the better of me. Yes definitely I've had those days .. And he walked through them with me ♥♥ Not as a boyfriend or whatever friend-zoned shit, but as a true friend (':

This person stood by my side despite controversial views .. And he showed me how our friendship meant so much to him !! ♥ I could tell him anything and everything, and I really did in those days ^^ I would share my problems, my happiness .. And I felt great each time I told him everything !! :D

But of course, we've drifted now. And I miss him a lot. I miss the times when we would talk everyday. I wonder how your life is right now .. How you're adapting, how you're doing each day. If you're missing me, missing everything about us. (Sounds very romantic but it's really not.) I miss him a lot .. ♥ But I can't find the courage to talk to you again .. Cause you seem so busy now.

If you read this, you'd probably know who you are. I really want things back the way it used to be

And if you're unsure whether it's you .. Strawberry Candies, Turning the air-con away in bus, Pizza Hut Chicken, Train rides. You definitely know now.

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Having a pretty emotional night today :P And tomorrow's Challengers' Dinner (Y) I can't wait !! ♥ Hahahahahah I miss my Suponac people a lot (: And I can't wait to see Zodall tomorrow either ^^

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Ohhhhh and I feel so happy and productive now !! ^^ Not in terms of study but Dance (: I was feeling rather horrible early this evening and having a terribly low self-esteem ): And I danced and felt 200% better ! ♥ That's what Dance does to all Dancers, I suppose ?? Anyhow, it's been 8 years of Dancing and counting on :D

BYE.