Hello there!

Hello there!

It's been awhile since I've written, but I'm knee deep in cramming for finals - so I suppose I do get some slack once in awhile. I decided that I really need an outlet to write, especially with essays so biased to opinions of my tutors and the lack of freedom to truly write freely in creating writing. Ironic? Well, that's university for you.

Which brings me to the topic of my frustration - university.

People in this country/society view that as the basic utmost education of this generation. It does not matter which university you went to, so long as your job application includes the word "degree". Funny, isn't it? How a single word in the amazing vocabulary that is the English language determines your next pay-check, or if you are rendered yet again jobless for the next month.

For all the people out there who do not intend on receiving a university education, or did not have the privilege of attending a university for reasons untold - it is not all glamour and glitz. I used to picture myself taking interesting classes - learning a new language, trying something new, and putting my crazy inner thoughts to writing. Hey, that's perhaps why I took up a major in English literature, and convinced myself to fight for a slot in the creative writing class this semester.

You'd think I'd be able to write freely in the most liberal of courses and modules, isn't it? Well, think again. Any essay that isn't tailored to your tutor's opinions are obviously misguided and short-sighted - however hard you tried to prove that there's a different reading to it. Last semester, I was told to not argue against my professor's point because, then, he'd get upset and give you a bad grade.

So much for liberal.

Haven't I mention? The attempt to create an uneasy rhythm to my poetry construction was shot down because I am supposed to have a constant rhythm in my work. Little did he know that the uneasy rhythm is supposed to carry across the meaning of the poem - the uneasiness in reading is supposed to draw attention to the same idea of watching a child suffer in pain over the loss of family.

I conformed to get a good grade. Meh. So much for experiences.

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Education aside, have I mentioned the amazing people? Yeah, I'm totally being sarcastic.
No really, I am.

I won't deny I've met some great people over the past year - friends I'd like very much to keep for a lifetime if I could. A little too early to say this, but honestly they have proven to be better friends than other friends I've had for the rest of my lives in the short span of 1 year.

Apart from this handful, which is really merely a handful - there are the babies.
Now, I'd claw at them if I could but apparently we're in a civilised society so I am supposed to simply pen down my anger in words. And, that's why I'm here.

Local universities comprise largely of junior college students - because it takes a C average to get into NTU but at least a B or B+ average for a polytechnic student to earn an interview. Double standards? Well that isn't my argument for today so I'll end the topic here.


But that argument aside, the people in universities.
These junior college students - largely they are kind people. Genuine, and lovely.
But a few rotten apples truly ruins the batch.

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For the ones who still need their mothers to take care of chores for them, for the ones who think it's all about play and not study; or the ones who expect things to be handled to them on a silver platter, I truly hope that degree does not entitle you a job over a hard-working diploma graduates who worked his/her ass off for 3 years.

Nobody is here to take care of your every whim, or clean up after your mess. If you are unable to have a sense of urgency or agency even, what different are you from any foolish people we criticise everyday.

Do you know why they say that polytechnic students appear different from jc students?
Because we actually understand the importance of having urgency.
We understand that not everything is butterflies and rainbows - heck we went through vicious killings to get to where we are right now.

And that's not saying we're better. It's saying, we're more realistic. We're more hands-on, and way more vicious than you. Take a number, child. You're going to need it when we step on you on the next opening up.

That's reality.
And if you are unable to deal with that, stay in university.
Where professors will tell you exactly what to do - and not let you try anything hands on. Because we're university students and young adults who need to be told what to do, and not have our hands on something absolutely essential for our potential career in future.

Amen to universities.
And you wonder why I'm still here?
Well, my mother worked her life to send me here. And I'm not about to disappoint her.

Hello there!

I'm currently seated in a quaint little spot just facing the late afternoon sun - listening to the latest hits by The Chainsmokers and enjoying a cup of iced chocolate. Lazy afternoons like this truly do make my day, in the midst of tiring schedules and rushing for dance practices. I do hope to find more peaceful afternoons like so, hopefully after the end of my HOCC journey.

Recently I've been taking up the module of Singapore literature as part of my mandatory curriculum in my pursue of studies as an English literature major. Do not ask me why I have to do it, somehow I'm asking myself that question. I do suppose local literature is essential in helping us understand our roots and give us the strength to evaluate what works/does not work for our literary works - they are better than we give them credit for anyway.

In reading local literature, I have found myself to relate to this country less and less. It does not hurt that I've already made up my mind years ago on the thought of migration. However, it has since become clarified in my university time. You'd be surprised at how university makes one feel less attached to the country - with the diverse opportunities offered to a mere student taking a literature major in this big city. Ok, maybe not too big. But, we're puny so I do rest my case upon so.

I tried to re-examine my lack of patriotism to this country - and found that the ideal future I pictured myself to be basking in years from now is far from the image I'm used to now. In 10 years (or hopefully just 5), I hope to be sitting on the window panel facing the glass window that outlooks onto the city-line that is busy Manhattan. My sheer white curtains will be reflected with the bright lines shining from the streets of the city that never sleeps.

Every morning, I'd wake up to dress myself in a thick coat before riding the subway or taking a yellow taxi to the firm. I'll be working on the next big marketing project that will yet feature another billboard, contributing to the ever-changing displays in Times Square. During Christmas, I'd skate around the Rockefeller center. Maybe if I'm feeling a little more sociable on NYE, I'll head down to Times Square and feel the intimacy of the crowd around me.

I'll come back to quaint little sunny Singapore when spring comes, and visit the relatives that will have nothing but envy in their eyes as I ramble on about my adventures in the foreign land they can only dream of. I want to be the big sister that dreamt and flew for it to the little ones - the one person they know who made it out of this fish tank of a lonely city.

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I do not want to be the mother of two who stands at the corner after serving drinks to the guests in the house. Neither do I want to drive a Toyota to work everyday after dropping off two children in schools that do not support their artistic dreams. In fact, I don't think I could really deal with living in a HDB flat - even if a four-room is drastically spacious and potentially less hazardous than a shoebox apartment in Manhattan.

I may be afraid of the cold, but there's nothing in sunny Singapore that really makes me any less incline on leaving. Cold, and probably selfish - but definitely true. I can't picture myself staying in this spot years from now, regretting the risks I could have taken.

And don't get me wrong - I do love my country. I cheer when we do well internationally, and seeing a familiar face in a foreign land always makes me comforted. That's the safety blanket that is home. However, we all need to grow up and grow wings someday. If we continue to clip our wings near home, we'll never soar to the skies and feel the warmth of the mellow sun. If we could just spread our wings and fly, we'll come back to this safety net someday and thank every Lord for giving us the courage to do what we did.

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I'm sorry if this post was all over the place. I just needed an outlet to talk about this before it overwhelms me. The commitments that are pulling me down are really starting to take a toll on me, and I'm more afraid than ever that I'll end up staying. Oh dear lord, please give me the courage once more to up and leave.

Hello there!

2016 has been such a whirlwind of a year - and I haven't had time to properly sit down to write, or even think for that matter. What with work, graduation, and university, this has had to be the most adaptable year of my life thus far. But I'm glad I got through it, and I thank God for giving me this little me-time today to really sit down and just reflect. Thank the heavens for writing too.

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2016 has been a year of loss: for me, and perhaps for the world too. Even from the beginning, we lost amazing people whom I've grown up watching. Amazing actors like Alan Rickman and legendary singers like Prince left us this year - much to our dismay. For me, I've lost a lot of friends.

Maybe it's time to properly address this, but I've truly understood the fragility of friendship with the loss of my previous romantic relationship. While the past 2(?) years was filled with the love of my ex-boyfriend and all our loving friends, ending that chapter took a toll on all the friendship that came with it too. But who could I blame? Friendship is indeed fleeting.

But perhaps it was me - for 2016 was a year that I learned how it's important to have qualitative friendship over quantitative friendship. I've voluntarily shut out many people in my life, simply because I decided the friendship was not worth my effort. Sorry for those I've shut out, but I genuinely think that we've had a good run at our friendship - it was just a good friendship that didn't last very long. And growing apart is ok, and we should all be ok with that.

All in all, I'm thankful for the loss I've made. Because that gave me so much more space in my heart to welcome the new people in my life - the people I've felt so attached to over the past few months in my university life. Joanna doesn't have a heart big enough for everyone, so thank God for helping me make the decisions to shut away chapters of my life, to open up new ones.

//

2016 has been a year of adapting - this is what I kept saying for the past few weeks. While I learned to move on from a very long relationship, I also learned to love someone else properly. Apart from that, I learned to treasure friendship and people more. Making new friends in university has truly taken a toll on me, where I was cautious about making toxic friends and differentiating the ones I really would die for, and the ones I wouldn't gave a hoodwink about if they disappeared one day.

Harsh, but accurate.

I've made many friends over the past few months in Hall, but some quite more precious than others. Meeting friends who share the same life goals and passion as me has truly made me realise how friendship works better when you burn with the same flame. Thank you God, for bringing me all these amazing people in my life - from the dancers to blue blood to Nat. All these people, despite me being unsure as to how long our friendship would last, has shown me how amazing friendship is if we just take a back-step and let nature run its course.

I know that many people in my life right now will probably be shut out again eventually, but I'm going to leave that worry for 2017 Joanna, because to be quite honest, 2016 Joanna has had enough of that.

//

2016 has been a year of growing up, and learning. I've learned to be more ok with people not appreciating the things I do or the choices I made, and I've learned to love myself more. Honestly, I've always struggled with insecurities where I feel like the whole world is plotting against me - always talking behind my back the moment I leave the scene. But on a less narcissistic note, nobody is going to even think about me when I leave. HAHAHAHAHA.

But 2016 has shown me that it's ok for people to be talking about you or being against you. All that matters is that I'm making these choices for myself, and myself only. I need to put myself as my number one, because I don't think anybody else is going to do that if I don't do it myself first.

If anything, I hope to really focus on me in 2017 and not anybody else. I want to make sure I'm ready as a person to take on the world, as I move step by step toward my future. If I want to dream big, I got to be big enough as a person to handle that - and right now I'm a tad bit small (not literally though). I just hope to really become a better person for myself in 2017, and be kinder to me too.

I want to be more ok with making choices for myself, for loving me for who I am, and for not changing at the slightest comment of another. I want to tell myself that people are not worth it, and I'm worth more than I think I do.

Honestly, I believe that it's very important to feel that way. Only when we feel like we're worth it, will others start treating us like we're worth it too.

//

I don't want to keep rattling on, because I know how draggy these posts can get.

2016 has been a tough year, but one that passed by a little too fast for my liking. I thought I'd accomplish much more than I did, but I've also accomplished many I didn't expect to accomplish. Well, you win some you lose some. But all in all, 2016 has done me well.

God has closed certain windows, but opened great doors for me. He has brought me into a new chapter of my life, and given me opportunities to grow as a person. He has placed people in my life that would really help me love myself, and more importantly, he stood by my side in the toughest days of the year. I thank God for being around in 2016, and I hope that he will continue to guide me through 2017.

I want to dream bigger in 2017, and work towards that. But before all else, here's to ending 2016 on a peaceful and beautiful note. Amen.

//

To a better 2017, here's to us.

Hello there!

I've kept silent for a fair while, but it's been far too long and today has been such a trying day. In fact, the day felt as long as 48 hours - due to the time differences between America and Singapore. Indeed, the world is celebrating/mourning over the loss of a (in my opinion) amazing president who has brought America to a golden age; while pondering over the election of a president subjected to much controversy - Donald Trump.

I am not going to go into the politics that discuss their promises because we know how little words count for these days - almost nothing anymore. If words/promises did matter, the polls might not have ended up the way it did.

Today is a day of pain for the minority voices in America - who are living in fear of being deported, excluded, or targeted upon for hate crimes/bully. While we take a moment of silent for them, we should also be looking into the near future (for what rights do we have to look into the distant future anymore?).

Many people are taking to social media to express their displeasure over the election results - a public outcry. I saw a friend of mine tweet - if everyone is complaining over the results, then who elected him?

This brought me to ponder over conversations I had earlier today - where Brexit was brought up as a topic of discussion in relations to the US Elections 2016. People were mocking the elections - saying that Brexit is no longer the most stupid decision made in 2016 anymore.

Here's something that I realised, that could potentially answer several questions; and raise a few of my own as well (which I have by no means any answers to).

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1. Social Media is a wide space for the global audience

Throughout the presidential election period, we took to social media to keep ourselves updated on the progress for the debates and prediction polls. More so, we've taken to social media to witness the commentary on these topics.

It is indeed true that the wideness that is the social media platform is filled with sarcastic tweets aimed against Trump; as well as endless memes poking fun at his comments/appearance.

People criticised both ends - and mostly prayed for Obama to stay even though he can't. But even so, we saw a huge amount of support for Clinton as opposed to the overwhelming memes laughing at Trump's thought that he would someday be president. If so, how is it that Clinton lost?

Here's something to think about for social media: it is a space open to the global audience - for anybody with access to Internet. The global audience is connected and congregated on the platforms. This also means that it is difficult to separate the comments of actual Americans who are eligible to vote, and those who are giving plain commentary.

Indeed, the power of words can be used to convince potential Americans to vote (or to swing their votes); But it should be taken into account that words are merely words at the end of the day. And I'm saying this in the point of a literature student. Amen.

In fact, it is common knowledge to know that social media is widely used by public figures or the younger generation (teenagers, young adults, children). If we looked at it in this manner - most of the users aren't even of legal age to vote. If we think they had any way of convincing their parents to vote a certain manner, we certainly haven't been listening hard enough when they say how parents think silly of their children's opinions in politics.

Why else do we always have parents saying that "we don't know everything", "we think we're too smart", and "what do you know anyway?". They were never going to listen to you.

If my calculations aren't failing me - we thus have to minus from the Clinton supporters on social media: the non-American citizens (who can't vote) and from there, minus the ones who aren't of legal age to vote. That leaves us with a small amount of people who can actually make a difference in the polls - if we consider the population and population segmentation of the country.

Is social media, then, a truly accurate way of gauging politics?
Maybe not so, or maybe it is just to be taken with a pinch of salt

//

Now, prediction polls had Clinton in favour of winning. Why did the tables turn?
This - we have to consider the people who were doing the prediction, as well as the people surveyed to come up with this prediction.

It is only with statistics, data, and actual research with the voters that the prediction polls can actually be developed with credibility. Anything without these is simply commentary.

Perhaps, it is important to question the source of the statistics. Did these people merely survey the comments on the Internet? Or did they only survey certain states? If you only did your research in a democrats-favoured state, it is obvious that you'll get such prediction polls. If it was purely done based on Florida, would things have been different?

And if we look at this - if the polls proved to be in favour of Trump instead, would he have turned complacent? Or would Clinton have worked harder to pull the polls closer to her? And perhaps the race would have been more neck-to-neck, or it might not have made any difference at all anyway. It is all prediction and empty talks now - but we can only comment now, can't we?

Maybe we should have checked closer. But how could we?

//

People talk of how it's too late to bring up our concerns now - when we should have done this before the election date. But how were we to know? We believed the prediction polls, we believed what major news networks talked about - that Clinton had an easy win ahead of her.

How were we to know, if we were to believe in major news networks that we have been taught - are accurate sources of information?

We were complacent, but we were not complacent with no reason to be.
We were convinced, and by sources we believed were true.

But is it their fault then? Obviously not completely so. While there are faults to lie with the sources, the issue with such predictions is that it can always change. There is no way to gauge the human mind up till the moment the action is performed - and there is nothing we can do to gauge that very moment from weeks before.

What if someone who claimed to support Clinton chose Trump on the very last moment? What can we do, and how would anyone know? Nobody would, and we can only pray.

It is too late - but we had our reasons. We all had.

//

As we address our concerns for the results of the elections, we do have to take into account that there is almost nothing we can do to change things (the elected president) for now. The only comfort that we can take into, is the inability to make changes to things that have been set for decades and terms.

If Obama took this long to legalise gay marriage, it's going to take Trump awhile to take that privilege away. Maybe not as long, but let's buy our time as much as we can.

In electing Trump, the only thing to do now is not to pray - but to work harder. For the people to work harder to fight for their rights - and the "privileged" to understand the pains of the minorities and protect them with their privilege. If the people who voted for Clinton are able to come together and work hard to make this nation work for the next 4 years, maybe it won't be such a bleak future then.

And maybe, in 4 years, things might change again.
Then, we can talk.

//

I know it's awkward to be jumping on the bandwagon to discuss the elections even though we're so far away - considering how I normally pride myself in the unorthodox; but this is a sensitive issue considering my hopes for the future.

I do hope that things will turn better - whoever happens.
Until then, Amen.

Hello there!

It's been awhile, and I've been busy trying to settle into the university life. I wouldn't explain much, because I know how word spreads faster than fire in the university context - so I'll just say that I'm still trying to find my ground. Mostly, it's struggling with the idea of taking a step back in life anyway. Nothing new.

I'm in extreme (physical) pain from the horrors of my menstrual cramps so I'd strangle anybody in a heart beat if they were to provoke me now. I do hope you feel my anger and frustration and be as thankful as I am that nobody should probably be within physical reach to me at the moment of me typing this.

Apart from being busy, I guess I've been really holding back with my writing? Why? Well, it's the issue of being "right" today (in today's context) I suppose. And that is exactly what I'm about to address today. And no, I am not backing it up with substantial evidences or objective points of view. I'm on my period - I'm entitled to be unreasonable today.

It's one week a month (2 days of extreme pain, in fact) so just give it to me alright?

//

I used to love to write - everywhere and anywhere. I love to talk about everything and anything. It's scary, thinking back on how little I thought and how much happier I probably was. Today, when I'm about to write anything, anything at all - I consider how objective my opinions are, and how I'm about to justify my subjective opinions lest I receive a strong backlash from them.

It's no longer as simple as "we can agree to disagree" because that's honestly just a lazy and lame excuse for "I don't have a reason and I'm too tired to find one for you".

But what's wrong with having opinions that aren't substantiated with evidences today? Are we wrong to have opinions that we don't feel the need to explain? Why do we have this urgency to explain ourselves the moment we speak of something controversial (or maybe even not so at all)?

Why are we so caught up with the backlash? Are we really afraid of the opinion, or feeling like we're not being supported? Perhaps, we are afraid of being deemed as "dumb", "narrow-minded", "naive" by people who feel the need to constantly nit-pick at our opinion pieces?

//

I used to love to share my opinions - it showed who I am. By having opinions about subjective matters, I felt alive. I feel like I actually felt something about an issue or an event; It made me feel part of something. But somehow, I've lost that with time.

Surrounded by amazing people who are no less than sheer genius at providing strong and well-supported arguments, I've lost my voice. Perhaps I've not. I've just lost the motivations to speak with it. Every time I type something, I stop short at the thought of having to deal with these arguments. I find myself trying to answer their (potential) challenges even before I finish writing my pieces. At the end of the day, it isn't even something I intended to talk about in the first place anymore.

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It's scary how the opinions of others and the pressure to be accurate has sacrificed the voice of people who are more than willing to speak out about how they feel about something.

A close friend of mine was once branded "dumb", "stupid", and "naive" simply because she believed a source that wasn't accurate and tried to use it to talk about an issue to a few friends of mine. Don't get me wrong - these people who called out at her about believing a false source did so with kind intentions. They didn't want her to be deceived. But here's what happens when you use unkind words despite kind intentions - you make people lose their voice.

Strong criticism that are phrased in the worst possible way ever - they hurt others. They lose their self-esteem to talk about certain issues. They stop being alive about their opinions and voices. My friend no longer speaks up about controversial issues, or anything at all. She simply goes along with the majority voice, and it's sad to see her losing her voice like this.

Why are we so eager to pick faults at others' arguments? Why are we so quick to be critical? But is it wrong, to be critical? Is it wrong to have kind intentions and have constructive arguments? Where is the line drawn?

//

Constructive criticisms and arguments are so prevalent in my circle of people today. Having been in the media industry and now arguing over what Shakespeare intended in his writings breeds a space filled with people who are more than ready to challenge your every argument.

It's good though, because we learn something new from everybody's arguments. We see a new point of view, and we learn something from a new angle we never saw before that. But there's a difference between constructive criticism and being plain unkind/rude. People who simply shut your argument down, who simply tell you that you're wrong - these people are so toxic. There is no space for growth, zip zero. Nothing at all. And I guess that's where people went wrong.

That's where the human race went wrong.

//

I don't have the answers to the perhaps gazillion questions I posted earlier on. And honestly, I'm not in the mood to answer them, or to account for any statement I made today. I'm so goddamn sick and tired of arguing for my opinions. Everybody deserves a safe space to talk about something they feel about, without having to argue for it. Everybody deserves their safe haven.

This is mine, and if you have any issues with it - you can get the hell out of this space. I'm most frequently kind, but I'm in a huge amount of pain and I'm losing a lot of blood so I am most unkind now.

I'm tired of losing my voice, chucking away post after post because I'm so tired from school work to answer all the (potential) challenges I may be breeding. I want to feel alive again, like this space is a space for me to speak about anything and everything without having to account for it. I want this to be a space where I don't have to cite academic sources or put a works cited page at the end.

Am I asking for too much? Perhaps I am.
But whatever, I'm not going to deal with that today.

Hello there!

It's been awhile since I've wrote, and I've been awfully busy with work/preparations for university this coming August. Apart from that, I've been spending my free time with my boyfriend before he enlisted for his 2-year stint with the SAF. Sadly, he's in confinement right now and that leaves me with quite a bit more free time. Well, good for me too anyway.

I've been itching to write for awhile, but I haven't the slightest idea on what I could write about. Most of my draft posts simply stop halfway because I wasn't interested enough to complete them. Either that, or I don't feel like they would make a good post. I don't like to write something half-hearted, there simply isn't a point of writing if you don't do it properly.

Amen to writers who put quality over quantity.

However, during a conversation I had with a friend today, we got caught onto the topic of being in the rat race for popularity. She mentioned that everyone has a point in life where we get so caught up with the need to be popular, and then we stop.

Having been part of the student union throughout my polytechnic years, and been part of the largest/most dramatic/highly-watched CCA in my secondary school years, I've had my fair share of feeling that way, I must say. There were days when I felt as if being popular simply gets you wherever you want to go, or wherever you need to be. Note: were.

Most people who know SU would know how non-SU people think of us. We are the "popular kids" and you basically earn your place in SU through popularity. Fact check: NOT TRUE. Every student in Ngee Ann Polytechnic is part of SU - it's a student right given since they were enrolled into the school system. The difference between them and us? How active you are with the union.

Some students choose to actively participate in events organised by the union - camps, carnivals, freshmen dance party, sub-committee, and even executive committee. I'd go into the details but that isn't my main point today.

My friend mentioned again, that being in such "popularity race" does help you to gain connections in life and make more friends. Is that true? Well, I guess that depends on how you handle the situation. I've made several good friends in SU - friends I'd keep for the rest of my life. But am I there to make a ton of friends? Nope.

//

My point being, there will be a time when you get so caught up in the need to be popular, only to realise how silly you must have been back when. There have been people who told me that being part of SU was ridiculous and I'm simply there because I want to be popular. I've also heard people tell me how they don't see a need to be popular.

I've also seen those people, eventually feel the need to be popular. Ironic, isn't it? Hilariously hypocritical? Perhaps.

Maybe the next time you decide to tell someone that they are stupid/desperate for doing what they are doing to be popular, you need to evaluate yourself first. Have you been in their shoes? Will you ever be in their shoes? Maybe if we were more willing to evaluate ourselves before we are quick to pass judgements, we won't end up being hypocritical in the long run.

//

A question I often get asked is, "why do you want to be popular?"

Let's be honest: everyone wants to be the Quinn Fabray at a point in time. Everyone wants to be the Sharpay Evans that make heads turn, or the Troy Bolton that is the hero in every girl's heart. If you haven't felt that way, I applaud you. You are impressive so keep it up! You have got the correct idea of life and you need to stay that way.

But most people do feel that way at a point in time in their lives. They want to be so busy that their schedulers are literally marked up to 2 months later. They want to tell friends that they are not free because they have other plans. They want to go to Zouk and say hi to almost everyone there. They want to be in so many group photos, go on a crazy load of graduation trips, and have cool hashtags they can't be bothered to remember.

Girls, as much as the feminist movement has already advanced so much, still constantly feel the need to validate themselves with the compliments and desire of the male species. Does being popular make you feel that way? Probably. A friend of mine told me a few weeks ago that he felt as though he should have joined the student union during his time in polytechnic.

Why so? Because he was enrolled in a course filled with guys and the union felt like a good place to meet girls!

I do understand the feeling of wanting to be in love, to find the right one at a young age and simply have a wonderful 10-year relationship before you get married. You'd get to tell your children how amazing your love story was. I get it. But some people simply want to be popular to feel wanted, to feel desired, or needed. They want to know how many guys/girls they can attract. It's like throwing the hook out there and seeing how many fishes you can catch. You don't intend on catching them - the mere idea of being able to catch some and show off to the other fishermen satisfy you.

Haven't I once too felt that way? Yes, definitely. I won't deny it. And perhaps it's because I once felt this way that I am able to relate to well to these thoughts. But anyway, THE PAST IS IN THE PAST. Hahahahaha I've moved past that stage. Please.

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I've said so much about the need to be popular and how people often get caught in the rat race of popularity. So, what am I driving at?

The next time you see someone being caught in the midst of this popularity crap, don't be quick to throw judgemental looks at them or sneer at them for being so mainstream or desperate. Don't be quick to make judgmental statements you might end up being the victim to eventually.

And for those who have been there, done that (like me); you understand how it feels like to feel the way they feel right now, so let them have their space in doing what they are doing. When they realise how silly they are, they'll walk away and laugh like you did when you stopped trying.

There is nothing wrong with trying to be popular, or trying to be liked. There is nothing wrong with using popularity to validate your worth - everyone validate their worth a different way. If you're one of those "positive life" people who say that we shouldn't validate our worth by others' judgment, well aren't you a judgmental bitch. People can validate their worth any way they want to, and we should all be ready to respect that.

I once validate my worth on how busy I was and how many guys liked me. I once validate my worth on how many friends in SU I knew, and how many plans I could have in a day. I also once validate my worth on how much I meant to a guy. I've been there, done that. I don't regret one bit of it, and I don't think we should judge people who feel the need to be a certain way at any point in time.

It's their life.

//

Well now didn't that become some fake-inspirational post. HAHAHAHAHA. I actually only wanted to write about how people feel when they are trying to be popular, and how we shouldn't judge them before evaluating ourselves. But that turned out to be some supposedly inspirational stuff at the end anyway.

Ok I'm pretty much done with my rambling and I hope that you enjoyed reading my writing although I probably wouldn't QC cause I'm awfully hungry right now. I should go get food now.

Simply because I quoted it and I wanted to annoy the hell out of everyone who are sick of this song even almost 3 years down. By the way, she did amazing imitations of the said singers I swear. She's so good.