It's been awhile since I've wrote, and I've been awfully busy with work/preparations for university this coming August. Apart from that, I've been spending my free time with my boyfriend before he enlisted for his 2-year stint with the SAF. Sadly, he's in confinement right now and that leaves me with quite a bit more free time. Well, good for me too anyway.
I've been itching to write for awhile, but I haven't the slightest idea on what I could write about. Most of my draft posts simply stop halfway because I wasn't interested enough to complete them. Either that, or I don't feel like they would make a good post. I don't like to write something half-hearted, there simply isn't a point of writing if you don't do it properly.
Amen to writers who put quality over quantity.
However, during a conversation I had with a friend today, we got caught onto the topic of being in the rat race for popularity. She mentioned that everyone has a point in life where we get so caught up with the need to be popular, and then we stop.
Having been part of the student union throughout my polytechnic years, and been part of the largest/most dramatic/highly-watched CCA in my secondary school years, I've had my fair share of feeling that way, I must say. There were days when I felt as if being popular simply gets you wherever you want to go, or wherever you need to be. Note: were.
Most people who know SU would know how non-SU people think of us. We are the "popular kids" and you basically earn your place in SU through popularity. Fact check: NOT TRUE. Every student in Ngee Ann Polytechnic is part of SU - it's a student right given since they were enrolled into the school system. The difference between them and us? How active you are with the union.
Some students choose to actively participate in events organised by the union - camps, carnivals, freshmen dance party, sub-committee, and even executive committee. I'd go into the details but that isn't my main point today.
My friend mentioned again, that being in such "popularity race" does help you to gain connections in life and make more friends. Is that true? Well, I guess that depends on how you handle the situation. I've made several good friends in SU - friends I'd keep for the rest of my life. But am I there to make a ton of friends? Nope.
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My point being, there will be a time when you get so caught up in the need to be popular, only to realise how silly you must have been back when. There have been people who told me that being part of SU was ridiculous and I'm simply there because I want to be popular. I've also heard people tell me how they don't see a need to be popular.
I've also seen those people, eventually feel the need to be popular. Ironic, isn't it? Hilariously hypocritical? Perhaps.
Maybe the next time you decide to tell someone that they are stupid/desperate for doing what they are doing to be popular, you need to evaluate yourself first. Have you been in their shoes? Will you ever be in their shoes? Maybe if we were more willing to evaluate ourselves before we are quick to pass judgements, we won't end up being hypocritical in the long run.
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A question I often get asked is, "why do you want to be popular?"
Let's be honest: everyone wants to be the Quinn Fabray at a point in time. Everyone wants to be the Sharpay Evans that make heads turn, or the Troy Bolton that is the hero in every girl's heart. If you haven't felt that way, I applaud you. You are impressive so keep it up! You have got the correct idea of life and you need to stay that way.
But most people do feel that way at a point in time in their lives. They want to be so busy that their schedulers are literally marked up to 2 months later. They want to tell friends that they are not free because they have other plans. They want to go to Zouk and say hi to almost everyone there. They want to be in so many group photos, go on a crazy load of graduation trips, and have cool hashtags they can't be bothered to remember.
Girls, as much as the feminist movement has already advanced so much, still constantly feel the need to validate themselves with the compliments and desire of the male species. Does being popular make you feel that way? Probably. A friend of mine told me a few weeks ago that he felt as though he should have joined the student union during his time in polytechnic.
Why so? Because he was enrolled in a course filled with guys and the union felt like a good place to meet girls!
I do understand the feeling of wanting to be in love, to find the right one at a young age and simply have a wonderful 10-year relationship before you get married. You'd get to tell your children how amazing your love story was. I get it. But some people simply want to be popular to feel wanted, to feel desired, or needed. They want to know how many guys/girls they can attract. It's like throwing the hook out there and seeing how many fishes you can catch. You don't intend on catching them - the mere idea of being able to catch some and show off to the other fishermen satisfy you.
Haven't I once too felt that way? Yes, definitely. I won't deny it. And perhaps it's because I once felt this way that I am able to relate to well to these thoughts. But anyway, THE PAST IS IN THE PAST. Hahahahaha I've moved past that stage. Please.
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I've said so much about the need to be popular and how people often get caught in the rat race of popularity. So, what am I driving at?
The next time you see someone being caught in the midst of this popularity crap, don't be quick to throw judgemental looks at them or sneer at them for being so mainstream or desperate. Don't be quick to make judgmental statements you might end up being the victim to eventually.
And for those who have been there, done that (like me); you understand how it feels like to feel the way they feel right now, so let them have their space in doing what they are doing. When they realise how silly they are, they'll walk away and laugh like you did when you stopped trying.
There is nothing wrong with trying to be popular, or trying to be liked. There is nothing wrong with using popularity to validate your worth - everyone validate their worth a different way. If you're one of those "positive life" people who say that we shouldn't validate our worth by others' judgment, well aren't you a judgmental bitch. People can validate their worth any way they want to, and we should all be ready to respect that.
I once validate my worth on how busy I was and how many guys liked me. I once validate my worth on how many friends in SU I knew, and how many plans I could have in a day. I also once validate my worth on how much I meant to a guy. I've been there, done that. I don't regret one bit of it, and I don't think we should judge people who feel the need to be a certain way at any point in time.
It's their life.
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Well now didn't that become some fake-inspirational post. HAHAHAHAHA. I actually only wanted to write about how people feel when they are trying to be popular, and how we shouldn't judge them before evaluating ourselves. But that turned out to be some supposedly inspirational stuff at the end anyway.
Ok I'm pretty much done with my rambling and I hope that you enjoyed reading my writing although I probably wouldn't QC cause I'm awfully hungry right now. I should go get food now.
Simply because I quoted it and I wanted to annoy the hell out of everyone who are sick of this song even almost 3 years down. By the way, she did amazing imitations of the said singers I swear. She's so good.
Joanna