Hello there!

I've been getting a lot of inspiration to write lately, so pardon me if I write too much. Anyway, I realised that my writing has distracted a friend from work a lot recently, and I'm trying to sabotage her grades (just kidding) so I'm going to continue to write.

Recently, I celebrated an old friend's birthday with a few of my secondary school friends, and we had a great time chatting over old times and secondary school days. This topic was exceptionally relevant because most of us had just watched 我的少女时代 then. I realised that we did a lot of foolish things back then, that we would have never expected ourselves to have done a few years down.

But, one thing I took away from that day, was that the regrets we felt back then, may have turned out to become the best memories we take away from our youth. Today, I'm going to write about the 7 things I never regretted doing in secondary school, albeit feeling regretful back then.

If you have done the same, you should be happy that they serve as the best memories now!

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#01: Sleeping in class/Defying my teachers

Everyone has had their rebellious days, whether it was to a parent or to a teacher. I spent the bulk of my secondary school days being the student who had perfect school attire - socks was always above the ankle, skirt never more than 3 fingers above knee length, shirt always tucked in, and no fringe in the way.

However, I wasn't always this way in class.

I remember sleeping most of my secondary four classes away, sometimes the teacher doesn't bother waking me that I end up missing even seeing the teacher's face. I thank Ms Wee everyday for being so kind to let me sleep in all of her classes. I think I slept so much during Geography class, Ms Wee got a little freaked out when I finished my homework on time.


It was surprising that I even knew what homework there was.

I slept a lot during Chemistry, and even ended up dropping the subject completely to sleep in the library during class time. If there was one lesson I didn't sleep in, it was Chinese lessons. Why didn't I do so? Because I spent the bulk of the time making fun of my teacher, Ms Wong, who coincidentally was also my form teacher.

She probably despised me for eating breakfast and being a noisy kid in her class, but I definitely miss talking back to her because she couldn't scold me for not finishing my work at the end of the day.


If you spent your secondary school days earnestly taking down notes and paying attention, you'd probably miss out on a lot of scoldings and laughter. I remember always having to see the teacher at the end of the class because I was such a problematic child. My mother got so sick of getting calls, she starting blocking my teacher's number because those scoldings didn't make sense anyway.

((my mother believed that I was having fun at school, and that was important.))

For the second half of my secondary four life, I had to escape from the School Counsellor every other day, because my teacher decided that I probably need some counselling. ((really?!)) But thankfully, I was smart enough to bait her into the class after school hours and run away from the back door. I don't know how long I fooled her, but I guess she had enough of me to give up nearing my Os period.

If there was a few lessons I was the perfect student, one would be Social Studies. The reason was simple - Ms Kee was my dance-in-charge teacher. I couldn't risk her telling Laoshi how horrible I was in class, or he'd ban me from dance practices. That was probably why Ms Kee never understood why I was a horrible student in other teacher's mind.


But as I think back on these memories, I laugh at those scolding and times I made my teachers boil. My teachers still smile at me when I go back to Nan Hua, and they tell me how glad they are that I've grown up so well since then. These students are the ones your teachers remember best, and these memories are the ones that make our secondary school days fun and memorable.

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#02: Missing out on overseas holidays with family for CCA


When we were young, many children enjoyed taking overseas trips with their families. They would visit Disneyland or foreign countries and take lame, ugly photographs. For me, and a whole 100 over dancers, we spent all 4 years of our holidays in sunny Singapore. We danced at least 2-3 weeks of our holidays, and spent the other time with our dancers as well.

The moment school ended in late May, Dance practices started. We had dance every weekday, from 9am until 6pm. That meant that we only said Goodbye to each other around 8pm, and saw each other just 12 hours later at 8am.


We burned our first half of the June holidays at dance, and the final week too. For the November one, we burned the entire November in Dance. For me, I burned December with Anyhow Arts, and end December with Dance again.

You may say that it's not fun to sacrifice overseas holidays or Disneyland for Dance, but these dance memories are the ones I miss so badly. I wish I could be a Nan Hua Dancer again ((all the time)), so that I could spend everyday complaining about my aching muscles with the dancers. We'd wear the dance tee everyday, and run out of dance tees to wear.

Our dance attires are black when soaked in water, and we crash the moment we reach home.

The days we screamed our loudest for dance, the discipline runs we had, and dancing under the scorching sun without shoes/socks; Those are the memories we take away with us when we grow up. Those are the things with no logic, no sense, and completely immature. But those are also the things we'd grow up never doing again, so we should have treasured them a little more when we were younger.


If it wasn't for the Joanna who endured the scorching sun in June for AYG 2009, there wouldn't be the Joanna who would feel no pain stepping on any ground barefooted in Singapore today. If it wasn't for the Joanna who endured the pain of stretching and pushed through the days with aching muscles, there wouldn't be the Joanna who takes pride in her flexibility and strength now.

Sometimes the sacrifices we made, was worth the while.

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#03: Doing crazy things that weren't allowed

Have you ever sprayed the fire extinguisher outside of your classroom when classes are over and shut the windows/door tight so they can't escape? I have.

Sometimes, we didn't spray them in our own class, but in the neighbouring class. I never knew what happened, but I suppose it didn't end well when the cleaners cleaned the class at the end of everyday. I am so sorry for that, but it was fun, wasn't it?


There was once, my class decided to combine a bunch of bad smelling things - days old yoghurt and vitasoy, sock, strong deodorant; the boys mixed them together and hid it in the air conditioner. Unknowingly, to the teachers, the class starting getting a horrible strong deodorant smell the next day, that could spread around 20m toward the lift.

We had to open the doors and windows for 2 weeks, and still teachers felt like puking each time they exited the lift on the 6th floor. 302 was indeed a crazy class who did stupid things, and we suffered for it, but it was fun while we were doing them!

I remember Yoke Kee, once spreading the foam on raw egg, onto Yu Zhen's table during recess. Although we were fellow females, we never warned her because we'd love her reaction when she found out. Since it was transparent by the time she came back for class, she slept on it without much of a thought, and only found out after she woke up.

I always pity her for that. Thankfully, I was on the laughing, knowing end of the stick.


If you haven't done these crazy things with your class, you would have missed out on a lot of laughter and fun. They had to be so crazy and stupid you wouldn't do it if you were 18, or 16. However, they had to be fun enough that you'd laugh so badly even though you probably know that you are going to have to suffer for it eventually. Those were the best laughters I've had, and I think nothing will ever top those crazy stuff we did in 302/402 back then.

Thank you 302/402, all 39 of you.

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#04: Being a part of Nan Hua Dance Society

Now, we've all had a CCA when we were in secondary school. Some of us had fun skipping CCAs and playing around after school, while some of us took pride in participating in our CCAs. For dancers, it was the latter.


Nan Hua Dance Society, if you've ever heard, is the niche CCA in Nan Hua. We have won over 20 Gold awards in the biannual SYF Central Judging in International/Chinese dance segments, and gotten Distinction in the following biannual SYCs in the same segments as well.

Besides SYF/SYC, we have also been invited to perform in major performances such as the National Day Parade, YOG Opening Ceremony, AYG Opening Ceremony, ASG Opening Ceremony, Chingay Parade, and we even once performed for the 2000 Millenium celebrations. The juniors are preparing for the Paralympics performance right now, as well.

Because of the glory Nan Hua Dance Society has brought to the school, it was easy to see why we had priority in everything. The end of every major dance performance meant a morning assembly where dancers were invited to stand up and were applauded for our efforts to bring glory to our school.


We had new costumes for every performance, tailored to the dancer. The Chinese Orchestra in our school wore the same costume the 4 years I was in Nan Hua. We were often praised, and could take any location in the school we wanted, even if some other CCA booked it first. Dancers were often seen running around barefooted, and we had so much pride it was annoying to others.

We defended any accusation against dance, and dancers stood together in any confrontation. The fact that we had 100 over people kind of gave us an advantage as well. Did I mention that dance gets priority in getting secondary ones at the beginning of the year? If you chose dance in any of your 4 CCA options, you'd be put to dance first even if you put it as your 4th choice.

Girls had to go through auditions to get into dance, 30 over dancers will eventually be shortlisted to 20. For my batch, we graduated with 19 girls and 10 boys.

It was a glory to be in dance back then, where you could skip classes to prepare for performances. For ASG in 2011, we skipped 1 week of classes for dance. Boys could leave their hair long for performances at times, and teachers couldn't do anything to get them to cut it. Reason for doing so? Because they couldn't style their hair if it was too short.


The girls could tie ponytails to school for performances, and we could come to school late the day after rehearsals because we ended rehearsals only around 10pm the evening before.

If being in Nan Hua Dance Society wasn't something to be proud of, I don't know what is. We had the best times there, crying and screaming over everything. We pumped to dancehood, screamed and cried at our failures, laughed at the inside jokes, celebrated with dance cheer after every performance, and cried the worst on our Speech Day dances.

In dance, we experienced all emotions; In dance, we grew up together.


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#05: Falling in love too many times

I think everyone has had their moments ((since we were experiencing puberty)) when we felt a tinge of feelings for someone back then. Sometimes, we'd let the feelings get the better of us, and fell completely in love for a boy who probably didn't deserve it.

Many people have told me that they were proud to have a clean record, having no boyfriends at all. Honestly, why is that something to be proud of?

Do you know the responsibilities that come with relationships in your 20s? Or even in your late teens? Sometimes, it's beautiful to fall in love when you could do reckless things that didn't matter when you grow up eventually. Being young meant making mistakes, and having to suffer little or no consequences for them; being matured meant otherwise.

I don't regret falling in love so many times, more than 7 times in fact. While I've had 7 ex boyfriends, I've definitely fell in love with someone who got away at least once. It's sweet, you know; to sit beside the boy you like, and feel your heart beating so fast it could jump out. It was happy, you know; the way you smile when he replies your text with something cute.


Falling in love so young meant you could cry your hearts out when your heart hurt, you could scream at them for making you so upset, you could smile and ask to put couple keychains on your phones, or you could just spend your dates studying at the library. ((where you just only stare at each other anyway))

I remember the days we cried in the corridor outside your class, because we knew it wasn't working anymore but we didn't want to let go. I ran to the canteen and cried with all our friends, and spent the rest of the day crying in class. I remember when you sat beside me during Road Run, and we watched the games together. Thank you for being by my side that day, it was nice feeling that way.


I remember you feeding the cat with me every morning, and sometimes when we didn't see it we'd panicked. I wonder where 糖糖 went to eventually, after we graduated. I remember the day I tried to look really good in front of you, only to spill a bottle of sprite all over my shirt. You were gentle and kind, and never laughed at me.

I remember you buying a gift for me, and despite objections from your parents, you got it to me in the end. While I never read the letter, I know what you would have wrote. Thank you for that.

The younger days, were carefree and happy ones. It was the sweaty palms I had when you held my hand for the first time, or the nights I soaked my pillow because I missed us so much. It was the way I lied on my bed when you told me over the phone how you wish we'd stay together until you went away to army, or the day you stood outside my class waiting for me and everyone teased me because we were adorable together.

It was how I stole glances at you when we were studying in the library, or how you defied the entire world just to be with me for a brief moment.

Love is unpredictable, and love is beautiful. Young love is precious - it is innocent, and filled with so much hopes. If I didn't love when I was younger, I would have regretted so much feelings I now know I could feel. If Joanna didn't fall in love back then, I wouldn't look at relationships the way I do now.


Because there was an immature Joanna who loved and cried, there is a Joanna now who smiles at old photographs.

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#06: Watching a lot of Taiwan dramas

I spent my childhood like any other kids, watching cartoons like Powerpuff Girls and Teen Titans. I didn't like Spongebob Squarepants, but don't hate on me for that. Cartoons are very subjective, and I don't despise you for liking Spongebob Squarepants so you shouldn't despise me for not liking it.

However, I spent a bulk of my teenage years watching Taiwan dramas more so than cartoons. I was entering puberty and I needed to watch something with deeper emotions, with a little more growth space in its plot. While my cousins and sister enjoyed Taiwan dramas, I didn't enjoy them at first. I did, eventually, grow into it, and spent a lot of time on these dramas.


My favourites during that time would have to be 海派甜心，转角遇到爱，终极三国，下一站幸福，and 黑糖群侠转. I enjoyed how the idols were the centre of the shows, and each show had a different plot that didn't make them like any other Korean dramas we watch now. It wasn't always a tourism tactic which exploited the use of historical landmarks and locations, but focused on building the characters more so than the location/story itself.

I suppose they taught me a little more about love too - how it wasn't always easy to be with the person you love, and how sometimes we make sacrifices for the greater good. It also taught me a lot about friendship - the importance of it, and how we should treat friends we want to keep in the long run.


If you don't watch Taiwan dramas, I would highly suggest you try one or two of them. They are definitely worth the many hours of 50 over episodes, and will leave you with so much joy and tears at the end of it. I would suggest you start with something light, like 黑糖玛奇朵 or 命中注定我爱你, and then move onto the ones with deeper story lines!


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#07: Being completely emotional and not logical at all

Many friends of mine would see me as a logical person, who liked to reason more than feel. I tend to give very logical and PR replies, and often didn't see the importance in getting emotional over minor things. My friends also would think I'm street smart, when I'm really not.

There was a time when I was completely emotional, and let my emotions run my life. I would cry at the slightest sadness, and laugh over the funniest stuff. I used to base my actions on intuition, something I've learned doesn't always work.


One of the stupidest things I used to do, was cut. I used to cut myself, and shopping in the book store was shopping for pen knives. I used to keep them in my pockets and cut myself when nobody would see. There are so many scars on me, and I'm just thankful that many of them have healed. There was a time when my entire arm was filled with scars, and it felt good.

I felt happier feeling the pain on my skin, because I believed it distracted me from the pain I was feeling emotionally. I was coping with failure, as a person, as a student, and as a girlfriend/child/friend. It wasn't easy dealing with the emotional stress, and I found myself to be relieving myself of these pain by seeking an alternative.

Eventually, friends who cried for me so badly the day I locked myself in the toilet and refused to come out, woke me up, I broke the pen knife in half, and never looked back.

To the girls out there, cutting never solves anything. Starving yourself doesn't make you skinny; I know, I've tried it. Be brave enough to walk away from that boy who couldn't care less that you were hurting yourself because he hurt you, and be brave enough to tell him that you deserve better. Look around you, and you'll see the friends hurting because of your actions. Don't hurt them anymore, they really really care for you.


The scars that you'll have in the long run, are the ones you're going to have to cover up with tanned skin, or cardigans. They are going to be there forever, and no, they don't disappear even 5 years after you've caused them on yourself.

But I don't regret what I've done, because the mistakes I've made allows me to tell others not to repeat in my footsteps. It is because I have experienced these pains, that I can now safely tell a girl who's hurting that she deserves better. I can show them the mistakes I've made, that will stick with me, so they don't make the mistakes they are about to now.


I don't regret because, at that point in time, that was what I believed was right. That was what, I believed, was the best for me. That helped me, whether or not you believe me. It helped me to see a lot of things better, that the boy would definitely not turn back no matter how much you hurt yourself for him, and the friends will never turn your back on you, because they love you.

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Spend a little more of your youth eating, laughing, crying, and playing. Don't waste them on pure studying, or being completely logical. Don't tell yourself to stop feeling this way, but encourage your feelings to take you to somewhere new. Sometimes, they let you learn more than your brain will ever help you learn.


I don't regret many things I did when I was younger, because I believe that they have made me the person I am today. They have helped me to grow, and to become a better person now.

Don't regret what you did when you were younger, they happened for a reason.

Oh, how I miss my younger days. I really, really do.

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A beautiful song that makes you feel nostalgic if you're looking through old photograph at the same time. Fun Fact: Joshua Taylor used it for Argonauts Montage Video!