Hello! It's been awhile and I'm sorry (again) that I haven't been posting much! ): January is coming to an end and I can't believe how fast this month has passed by. School has barely started and now it's coming to an end in around half a month later !! ^^ Somehow I'm happy HAHAHAHAHAHA.


Anyway, Chinese New Year will be in 2 days and I'm pretty excited as much as the feels isn't strong this year, ♥ Actually, I'm really just excited for the food #fatgirl96 I can't really be bothered about the festive season, never did anyway. But today, I'll talk about the festive season I suppose. No it's not going to be a boring history lesson .________.

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When I think about CNY, I think about Nhds ! ♥ I remember the very first CNY Performance .. Oh those horrible days T.T Because we did a dance under Ms Tan, those were .. Well, memories I suppose (: But either ways, I'd never want to repeat that dance again. In 2011, we did the Dance item with the drums !! ^^ I liked that dance a lot, it was a whole lot of fun!


And in 2012, we did Lion Dance :D Enjoyed myself thoroughly for the performance and I love Xuening my darling Lion Tail for all the patience she had .. ♥ My last year of CNY in Nh, in Nhds .. I remember I wanted to cry. Sighhhhh (':



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And during CNY, I remember going to Laoshi's house to Bainian ^^ We would always make a mess of his house and it will be terribly stuffy but it's worth the while anyway (: I remember wearing so horribly casual on our first year, and then getting all dressed up in our second year! In our 3rd year, there was only Yuqi and I ): But I enjoyed the quality time we spent together !! ♥ Love ya my bimbo.


Last year was such a controversial year because all of us didn't want to dress up heavily but couldn't look casual either! I remember freaking out over what I wanted to wear that morning #laughdieme Every year is a special memory and they make CNY a better experience (:


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Chinese New Year = Chingay. Well, at least for the past 3 years and counting ! :P


I won't talk much and I'll just let the photos do the talking.
Definitely, 2012 was the year I loved ^^ We didn't even have to Dance, we just lepak-ed !!



Oh this year? I'll be helping out for Nhds under the Southern Lions Contingent ! ♥ Proud of my lovely juniors for the NE Show, they managed pretty well even though they only came for one rehearsal (: Here's to Rehearsal, and Show 1/2, Juniors !!

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(^) Most of my fond CNY Memories are involved with Dance, and Nhds, ♥ Somehow I just can't seem to tear myself away from that (': Oh well, that's pretty much my post for CNY :D

Have a wonderful CNY, Everyone ! ♥ I love all of you and get rich/fat during the festive season (: Enjoy a lot and it's a new beginning for everyone !

Here's a random photo from Tumblr that I'm so addicted with recently .. Wanderlust.

Hellooooo heyy! ^^ Hahahaha I'm back after a few days because I have so much feels inside. I'm really addicted to the word "feels" I don't even know why .______. Well, but I have so many posts I want to do but I'll eventually grow lazy anyway !! Today, I'll about a very special someone of mine (:


I know many people are already aware of the fact that Nicholas and I are back together ♥ We don't plan to hide it in any way, as much as we tried to not publicly announce it somewhere back in December. Most of our circle of friends already know of us, but I know my readers aren't those crowd ^^ So here's how amazing this boy of mine is (:

For you, if you're reading this.. I hope you understand how beautiful you are in my eyes ! ♥


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I actually met Nicholas in DI. It was funny, because it was during Anyhow Arts period. He walked into the studio by chance one day, and Lukhei offered him a spot in her Dance alongside Soonxuan, Chenkang and Clement. Adrian was already in the Dance, and so they accepted ! :D Honestly I thought he was a year older than me, but he turned out otherwise ^^

Through the days performing together, we never talked. He was actually the person I was most distant with in the entire item, but he seemed like a pretty cool guy anyhow, ♥ After the performance, we had a post-celebration party @ Lukhei's. Well, I decided to write cards for everyone and it was awkward writing his initially !!


I mean, I don't really know him well ): But I managed to complete a card and I remember how surprised he looked when I gave it to him !! ♥ I could never forget that look up till today (: That's when, I think, I found him cute for the first time.

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Because of a lame Facebook post, he asked me an even lamer question. Just like this, we started talking .. ♥ It was rather nice, getting to know one another (: We talked about dance a lot, and in fact we still do! I love how strong his passion for Dance was, and how we enjoy bitching about people most of the time :P #guilt

Talking on Facebook through the New Year, we began texting in 2012. At first, we had really awkward conversations ._____. The first time we went out, it was before Chingay! The way I could pour my heartfelt stuffs out to him, I knew he was a genuine friend to keep ♥ The way he looked at me and smiled, for a moment there I was wonderstrucked.

He was a most wonderful person, we would talk on the phone at night and laugh over stupid things! Then we would play songs over the phone for one another, and I couldn't find a friendship as genuine as that !! ^^ But through that all, feelings were developing and I never realized.

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I wouldn't hide, I hurt a friend most dear to me. Because of my relationship complications, he was dragged into the picture. In the end, our friendship was on the shorter end of the peace deal ): We stopped talking for the year, but I knew he still cared, and I did too .. ♥


Little actions like talking to me once in awhile during practices, it was keeping our weak friendship alive. And of course, Anyhow Arts 2012 was a significant time for us (': The strawberries he bought from Korea, and when he sacrificed his lunch money to buy another box for me .. I could never forget that. ♥ I would always say that's how I fell in love with his thoughtfulness.

He saved me from a terrible situation that night. I saw him sitting in the corner, and he knew I needed help. He grabbed my hand and took me away, thank you ! ♥ When I think back, I probably fell in love there and then.

Christmas Eve, he brought me out for brunch (: We laughed over the lamest things and he tried to guess who I had a crush on! How everything began with a conversation on that overhead bridge, those are moments in my life I'll always remember ^^ #laughdieme

"我喜欢你".


He was adorable. In his little own way, he showed me he never forgot. He showed me he was always feeling, and I knew how lucky I was to have him.

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Our relationship thereafter was one most beautiful .. ♥ He loved me a lot, and tolerated me even more. I was definitely not the best girlfriend in the world, but he gave me as much as he could. He was patient and loving, even in times when I was impatient and annoying ): I couldn't ask for a better person in my life, then I thought.

He would carry me home when I'm tired of walking, wait for me to fall asleep on the phone, bring me to eat unhealthy food when I'm unwell so I'll be happy, rush over at 3AM to patch things up, let me sleep for hours on our dates because I'm tired, and remind me everyday how much he loves me, ♥


But even the most beautiful relationships come with cracks. The cracks we tried to mend, he tried to mend. Eventually I gave up on mending those cracks, leaving him alone holding onto them useless brick walls. Complications, and the lack of love.. I didn't deserve him at all.

And then, I let go completely.

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The months ensued were horrible, for everyone. There was no way we could mend a friendship like we did back in 2012, both him and I knew that ): I stopped going for Dance, he stopped learning about my life. That's when I felt like it all ended. That's when I needed to start to be independent.

That's when I guess, there was no remains left to pick ):

Being put into the same dance, having to face one another, was horrible. I wouldn't deny that. I showed him that my life was complete, and he avoided me completely. Now, who would have guessed we actually knew one another.

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Coming back to DI, for Anyhow Arts 2013, changed everything. We tried to talk, in the months we were apart. For a moment I thought I had forgotten, and maybe so did he. We had late night talks over text, and lunch .. It felt nice ♥ It really did.

A casual teasing from my choreographer got me thinking, when he sought for my opinion for an important matter .. Did I still mean anything to him? (:


We talked, we tried, and we told ourselves that it wasn't possible anymore. But a coincidental day at dance, where we talked a lot, and he sent me home .. It changed everything ! ^^ Till today, I'd thank Tan Lia (: If it wasn't for her, nothing would have begun.

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His late night confessions, and I didn't reciprocate. Not yet. But we both knew the feelings were mutual, we never forgot ♥ Things blossomed, and I was happy (: I didn't know about him, or anybody else, for that matter. I was happy, and I was happy that things were back the way it was. It was like finding your old favorite sweater .. Nothing could replace that happiness.


From then till now, it's been a dream. He once told me that he's living the dream when he's with me, but I'm living the dream right now !! ♥ I found the happiness I never deserved, and still don't. Truthfully, he's still as wonderful (': He still dotes on me, and I still make sarcastic jokes at him :P But we're different now, in a good way.

Your smile, I think I fell in love with that again. ♥

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It's not the same anymore, because we've spent such a long time apart. We're grown up, learned a lot about life .. And realized that Dance will always bring us back together .. ♥ Now, it's a more matured relationship with so much responsibility and understanding ^^ It feels nice, to me.

Thank you for being the person who loves me so much, ♥ You've always been there for me, whether we're together or apart (': You always remind me how much you care for me, and understand how I feel. You understand how I feel even when I don't speak a word, and I can throw insults at you but you pretend like you don't hear! ^^

I feel so grateful to you, and I hope you realize how wonderful a person you are. You always tell me about how "boring" you are, and how you don't understand why I would even want to be with someone like you. But I don't need excitement in love, I need simplicity ! ♥ You're the simplicity that I really need, so thank you for coming back into my life (': With that forgiveness, and love.

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So please, this time round, stay?

Endlessly - The Cab ♥
For you.

Hello people! I'm sorry that I've been gone for awhile ): I really wanted to update and I have a lot of unedited posts, which I'll find time to complete !! ^^ #guilty Anyway I decided that I have to complete this post today, for a gut feeling I have within me now, ♥


Firstly, this post is dedicated to my family for the past near-to-one-year, throughout 2013 (': It's been almost a year since I've met all of you, actually around 10months. We've grown together as a family and learned so much from one another we'll never learn elsewhere ♥ Somehow, I hate to see any of these fade away/end.


I know that things are going to change by next week, it's something we cannot avoid/deny. The truth is, nothing's going to be the same no matter how we'd always assure one another. There's bound to be changes, and there's bound to be sadness/happiness overloaded. To me, it's like an outsider watching a film roll on, wondering if I'll fit into any part of it .________.

Months ago, I remember when all of us were enthusiastic about FOC 14/15, cracking jokes over who's going to be a GL/Crew (': Honestly, I miss those days .. ♥ Of course, time passes us by and when you don't catch onto a moment, it fleets by quickly. I remember the passion we once had, the great love/commitment we had for each other ^^

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For the past one month over, I'm sorry that I haven't been around ): As a friend, as a family and as a support for any of you. I'm sorry that my commitments held me up most of the time and I haven't actually spent time with any of you. I miss all of you a lot and I wish I had more time for us, ♥ But dance took up a lot of time, and it still does.

Honestly, I let go awhile back. Like I told my favorite Mat, I have way too many commitments right now to focus on something as great as this. I know I might regret, but I just cannot commit as heavy as some people can. In fact, I don't think I'm good enough anyway ! ♥ But to those who are giving their best, I hope the call goes to the right ones (':


I know how important this is to some of you .. And I know how badly some of you really want this opportunity. But we're a family and we'll stick together through whatever right? ^^

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I'm afraid. In fact, I'm very afraid. But the fear I've had months ago and the fear I feel now is different. Months ago, I was afraid that I wasn't good enough. #inferiorgirl96 But now, I've let go myself. Yet, I'm still feeling a strange fear. A fear of change, this time round .. ♥

I've always been someone who's welcoming to changes, because I've learned that changes comes with new beginnings !! ^^ But this time round, I just wish time stopped where everything was perfect. Yes, there was a perfect moment. We were just so caught up with our thoughts that we never bothered to hold on tighter to it.


Through the months, we've grown up together ! ♥ I don't believe in promises because they hold a strong commitment and pressure. But promise me, that we'll still stick together through whatever? (:

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To those who are given the opportunity, hold on tight ♥ It'll be a rough ride, definitely, but one worthwhile. You're holding on to the hopes of those around you, as well as those who gave in their best but weren't enough. I'm proud of all of you, especially any of the Zombies !! ♥

To those who gave their best but were denied their chance, hold on tighter ♥ It's going to be a tough time now, but we're the life rafts of the others. They will have tough days, and we have to let them know that we'll always have their backs right (': We're their pillars of support, always.

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Maybe I'll get controversial views from this post, but I felt like I had to do this. There are just so many words I have for this adorable family of mine .. And I couldn't sum up this entire journey in one post .. ♥ We've been through tears, anger, laughter, sarcasm, smiles and so much crazy times. I've gained so much in one entire year I could never gain anywhere else.

I've made so many friends, realized a lot about life, found out how deep a bond can go, and understood how much I could love ! ♥ I wish this journey as a freshie didn't have to end, but it has to. And many of you will move on to become GL, some crew .. And I'll watch and smile (: Smile at how much we've all grown, at the memories we shared.

Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to commit as I once did. Maybe once this busy period is over, I'll miss everything ): I'll regret not spending more time with all of you .. But at least, at the moment, now, I can't do that. I'm missing all of you so bad, sighhhhh .. ♥


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I made this choice, and I can't say no. Back in December, back in Dance .. I knew I had to let go already. I had to let go of whatever chance I was holding onto. (:

I love all of you, Zodall ♥♥♥

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Do you want to build a snowman - Frozen Soundtrack ! ♥
Hehehe I'll always be that irritating Anna even if all of you are like Elsa (:

Hello people! (: Firstly, Happy New Year !! ♥ I still can't believe that 2014 is here, but I suppose it's another new beginning for all of us. There will definitely be many changes as compared to 2013, and of course it'd be as eventful as the previous year.


I actually wanted to do a proper post on the recollections of 2013 but I'm much too tired to complete the editing so I'm sorry ): Anyway, 2013 had been a roller-coaster year for me ^^ I've met so many people over the course of 365 days and formed so many new friendships, ♥ The friends I've made in NP have changed me, for the better and for worse.

I've held on tighter to friends I used to take for granted, and seen the true colors of whom I thought was true/real to me. A mere 365 days changed a lot of things, and me. I've seen a lot about life, and definitely broaden my horizons .. ♥ I've learnt so much about the life of others outside of luxurious NH and realized that the struggles we see on television are true ._________.


Either ways, I'm thankful to both those who stayed on in my life and whoever left. The people who stayed have shown me that they are worthy of my love/care, while those who left have proven that they were never worth the while in the first place (:

2013 had been a wild and crazy year, and now we're onto 2014 ! ♥ It'll definitely be another challenge to face this year, but I know I won't be alone.


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On another note, I would like to talk about today. I know a lot of those involved may be readers of my blog, but I hope you realize that this social media platform is also my personal platform ^^ I blog for the very reasons to express my thoughts so pardon me for being crude/offensive.

New Year Day is a day of new beginnings, and of course I'm beyond thankful to have spent countdown with the people I love ♥ I counted down @ Xinru's with Soonxuan, Chen Kang, Adrian and Yulin while we Facetimed the company @ Lionel's ! :D It was a whole new experience but I'm happy and blessed (':


Of course, Elson dear dropped by Xinru's house to meet me and we had a catch-up session over Mcdonalds' !! ♥ Thank you Bestie, you marked a great start for 2014.

Technically I was supposed to meet the 01/01 People for "Frozen" @ 1840, since Weihong already booked the tickets for us ^^ I was looking forward to watching this show with Yulin & Yanting because we've talked about watching it together since Christmas Day ! ♥

After the movie, we decided to head over to Four Fingers for dinner because it was late already. Then we walked around and ended up in Clarke Quay where we had an amazing time talking !! ^^ I couldn't have spent a better New Year Day elsewhere and I'm blessed to have such company to begin 2014.

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Of course, with happiness comes unhappiness. The opposite emotions are magnets that forms a balance for the world, and that I cannot deny. While I was having fun somewhere, there were definitely others upset elsewhere.


I am not someone who would get upset over trivial things, in fact I usually act very nonchalant about it (: #nofucksgivenclub However, I hope everyone understand that I would rather you confront me in the face than talk behind my back. I don't define "talk behind my back" as bitching, I define it by stating the unhappiness you have with me.

If there was anything I had made you upset, I'd hope you confront me about it. If the friendship meant anything to both of us, we'll sort things out .. ♥ But if you are willing to ruin the trust/friendship by choosing to "talk behind my back" about it, I cannot condone holding onto a friendship as weak.

Trust and knowledge about a person is shaped by experience and understanding ♥ I don't expect you to know me 100%, but at the very least know the kind of person I am. If our friendship was as strong as you claim it to be, then I don't see a problem with that? ^^ I know the kind of person that you are, and I know the root of the problem is my fault.


I don't deny that I've been at fault. In fact, I am the root of the problem. However, I would have expected you to talk to me about it. You can also shoot me directly on Social Media Platforms. I would have given you enough respect for waging such an argument publicly (: However, me having to hear from a third party about this incident is beyond disappointment for me.

I had no problems with you until you found a problem with me. No? I don't see the need to confront you first because I am not the one who's upset with the other ^^ I am perfectly fine and I enjoyed my evening ! ♥ But if you found a problem with me, I hope you'll talk to me about it. If we're "family" like you claim, I suppose we're more than that.

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I've said my piece and I suppose there will be people who are upset over what I said. I don't blame you, in fact you should be ! ^^ I don't like to wage an argument, but I can't help but express my disappointment in people I love/trust. The reason I'm doing this is not to make you upset, flame you on social media, show-off my literal abilities or get people to stand on my side of the argument.

I am indeed at fault and I can't deny it. I'm doing this because I don't see a point in confronting you first since I'm not the one who has a problem (: I'm also doing this because I know you wouldn't confront me (most probably) but I treasure the friendship we share enough to let you understand how I feel about this. ♥

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New Year Day starts off the year, it's an impression formed ♥ So far, 2014 have proven to be a wonderful year ahead, but with hidden unhappiness lying around. Of course, what's a great year without unhappiness slot in-between right? ^^ I don't blame it, but I don't appreciate it either.

Anyhow, the new year brings new promises, and beginnings for everyone !! :D


For my lovely idiot, it's a new beginning for us .. ♥ I know we aren't much, and we may not be the "perfect pair" or "sweetest couple" or "most approved" around, but I hope you realize that you mean a lot to me (:

Being able to talk to you for 1/2 hour today via Whatsapp really started off my year amazing, and nothing could ruin my day !! ♥ I'm so glad that you'll be back in 5 days, but I know the tough times start there as well ): Anyhow, everything's going to work out just fine for us ^^ I assure you.


#amputatelegclub

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Let's hope that 2014's going to a beautiful year as well, ♥

A song with such strong lyrics, deep meanings about life and self (:
Taken from Frozen and definitely a song worthy of listening and taken advice from, for everyone around me !! Let it Go - Idina Menzel ♥