Hi everyone (: These days I've found the love for typing and writing and all that, penning my thoughts down, because I enjoy reading them years later. Now whenever I read back on my old posts, I love how my life used to be ♥ And I regret so bad not blogging in my Secondary 4 year because I've already forgotten so much beautiful memories.

It's going to be a pretty wordy post because I'm not going to talk about usual stuffs now, but I really want to type so please bear with me ^^ You've all been great readers and I'm thankful for all of you, really ! ♥

Regine just blogged a post about a letter to the 14-year-old Regine .. Where she talk about how her life had passed for the past few years, and assuring that young, childish, wilful girl that everything's going to be fine 3 years later (: It's really inspiring, considering how she's always being so rubbish :P If you're curious about it, you can read about it here ! ♥ Regine is awesome, really !!

http://pekyj.blogspot.sg/2013/06/the-past-and-future.html

Her post inspired me to do something similar .. Except I'm going to pick a year that's going to be more significant than 14. Yes, definitely 14 is going to be a great year to talk about .. But there's another year in my life that was so significant and dramatic and filled with uncertainty.

//.

If there was ever a chance, I wish that the 15-year-old Joanna will be able to read this at the age of 15.


Hey girl (: This letter is probably going to be timed somewhere around the start of the year. It has been a great start of 2011 for you so far, counting down to the New Year with 206 people and spending great memories together before you part ♥

I know what you're feeling now. You're uncertain about many things that's going to happen. You're confident that everything's in control by you, and that it's all going to turn out the way you expect it to be. However .. I have to be a wet blanket. Life isn't always going to go the way you planned, and definitely not in this case. Your life is about to turn completely upside down, with everything going unexpected and terrible. But it's not going to be that bad, at the very end ^^

That person you believe that you're head over heels in love with now? Well it's actually really just a pretense. He's as close as a best friend and you're just mistaken that this strong bond between both of you is love ! And it's also just another excuse to get over the pain you're suffering now. I know it's not easy to convince you, but look deep down in .. You'll realize that the person in your heart right now is someone else. Someone you refuse to admit, but you'll only understand years later that he's the one you truly love back then (:

But don't worry, this mistaken "love" assumption of yours may temporarily make things awkward between you and your best friend .. And you will drift from him. You'll get worried that your friendship was a thing of the past, and both of you will never be the same again. But time heals everything and the best thing about being best friends is that he'll always be there ♥ Trust me, your friendship will be as strong as ever in 2013, and you'll understand him even better than before ^^

Sadly .. The person that's truly in your heart now? He's not the right one for you either. You'll make a decision that you'll regret so bad at that point, making you cry endlessly every night. You're unsure whether it's a right decision or not .. And I'm sorry to say, but you'll still be unsure years later. It's probably something you'll always be unsure of, as the years go by. But don't worry, it'll be just a small piece of worry in your mind as the days move on.

The year's not going to be that simple as these complications! You'll fall into a love triangle that you thought was never going to happen. It's going to be between you and one of your really great friend, with a boy who's also in your group of friends. Your friendship with your friend is going to be torn to pieces, and it'll become such a big thing that's talked about by many in your school. Everyday, you'll feel lonely and upset .. Confused about what to do. But don't worry, I can safely say that it will all work out, ♥

Sadly, the love triangle is not going to end up anywhere in happiness. But the good thing, is that it's a test of the friendship between your friend and you ! ♥♥ The both of you will spend a lot of time working things out, and it's going to be an amazing friendship thereafter (: So don't despair or do anything to prevent the love triangle from happening .. Because it strengthens the friendship of you and her .. As for the boy? Well, you'll grow to realize many amazing things happening for the both of you ^^ He's not going to be the right one either, but honestly up till today? I'm still uncertain.

Your dramatic 15 years old life doesn't stop there! It's going to be a year filled with emotions, I have to say. And it's best for you to be prepared for it. After the whole love triangle story, you'll find someone else almost immediately ♥ Someone whom you'll learn to love for the next 1 over year, up till graduation from Nanhua. He's going to be your longest boyfriend so far, and one you love dearly. He's going to bring you amazing memories, and be there for you through the next one over year. At some point in time, you'll believe that he's the right one. In fact, so will many others.

But to be a spoiler, he won't be. Sadly. But the both of you were great friends even before your relationship, and maybe at some point you'll feel as if your friendship was broken because of your relationship. But I assure you, true friends never leave ♥ You'll form a true friendship with him after your relationship ends, and the both of you will be confidants in the same school ^^

I can't say for now, who's the true one for you. Because it's only been 2 years, and I'm still unsure yet. I can say for now .. That 2 years later, you'll meet someone you totally least expect, and fall in love. He's definitely not the type of person you thought you'd love, not the kind of person you expect him to be, at 15. And I'm uncertain of how everything's going to go for the both of you, probably if I get the miracle of being able to read a letter from Joanna at a later age, I'll know (: Anyhow, learn to love bravely.

Everyone's going to judge you for being able to love again and again, even though you've been hurt countless of times. Don't bother explaining anything, because you know deep down why you've chose to love again and again, ♥ It's not the trill of having a boyfriend, you understood that even at the age of 15, haven't you? (:

Somewhere down the year, Chan's going to tell you that 15 is the year you'd find your first true love, and that it's an emotional roller coaster that year. It's true ♥ You'll have so much emotional roller coaster, but you'll grow from it (:

Honestly .. Your results are going to suck. And even for the actual Olevels, you'll not even be near your dream score. I know your dream school for now is ACJC, but you're not going to make it. I'm sorry. Remember how you once had a passion for Mass Communication in NP but never actually spared much thought about it? Guess what, you'll end up fulfilling that dream ! At first .. You're going to feel conflicted about it, and you'll feel terrible the moment you got your JAE results via Text. But you'll end up loving your course, I'm certain. The friends you'll make in MCM, the strong friendships that you'll forge there, as well as with everyone in NP, it's going to be amazing !

 You'll make great friends in NP, namely Zodall ♥ Now, you'll probably think that the name's ridiculous and sounds like Zodiac. Truth is, you're still going to think that way 2 years later ^^ But they are an amazing bunch of friends you'll make, but I shall not spoil you (: There will be special friendships formed there .. And new beginnings for a broken heart.

On a more serious note, the cutting ain't gonna stop. In fact, it will get worse. The stress and complications in your 15th is going to make all the cutting worse. You'll feel so horrible each time, and you'll hurt so many loved ones. If you ever have a chance, don't make the wrong decisions. At a point, you'll suffer from a terrible thing. And you'll be afraid. But that someone in your heart right now? He's going to be there for you (: So don't worry, because he's going to walk through it with you alright ! And in this year .. The worst thing will happen to you.

Your back is going to be injured. Yes, at the point when it's injured, you'll think of it as yet another injury that's going to heal over time. However .. Your neglection to it will cause huge problems. If I could, I'd urge you to take good care of your back when it's injured. It's going to form a long term injury, as well as with your knee. Your knee will be the main cause of the back injury, and both are going to be terrible. Your knee's going to hurt at the most random of times, and your back will hurt once you strain it .. You can't leave house without your knee guard in your bag. But you'll still be able to dance, no worries ! ♥ However, please take care of it. Please really do.

15 .. is an amazing year. It's a year filled with so much, ♥ And probably now, you're going to be like "With so much drama, how can it ever be great !?!? I'm going to dread this year -.-" but it'll turn out alright ^^ You'll grow to miss that year a lot .. And the people in it. Someone .. That someone that I still miss even at the age of 17.

The friends you never expect to make friends with? Well, they are the people you keep close to your hearts now (': The people you expected to be forever with? They didn't turn out as amazing as you expected to be .. But I'll assure you that it'll all turn out alright (':

At 17, you'll fall in love like you did back when you were 13. I'm not even joking about it. It's going to be the second time you fell in love with someone who didn't love you back .. And you're going to be fine about it like you were back in Secondary one. At 17, you'll make gazillion friends, true friendships ♥ At 17, you'll learn a lot more about life .. Look at life differently (': And that's going to be alright, because growing up is an amazing change ! At 17, you'll miss being 15.

Sincerely, 17th.